This PhD project gave me a great opportunity at the age of 23: an excellent job, a good salary, a move abroad, a future for a long-term relationship. By 25, all that had gone. Well over two years later, none of it was recovered. A PhD crawls along with no job prospect at the end. I hold my expectations to the level of what I had, which is unwise, but it’s difficult to be one’s own source of pride if one doesn’t see a lot to have pride in.

There was a conversation recently on Al’s blog about the starving artist; passion over pragmatism. That’s the dilemma of many postgrads: do we love our subjects enough to make the necessary sacrifices? My fascination with Marvell grows with life experience, and even matures in its dourness. But reality has changed so much since 2007 when I started. My parents, I’ve come to realise, are pragmatists. They’re not anti-study; they just expect that it will lead to a good income, and that a PhD of any description should see me walk into a high-salaried job. That’s really not likely. As I’ve grown older, my increasing pragmatism has been laying waste to my passion of old. What use is a PhD if it’s not enough?

But the situation has changed since writing this post. I should commend my folks for their faith (which does not come in the form of attending graduations, but in many other ways). I got a job opportunity out of nowhere, which I’m massively grateful for, and things are subsequently brighter. Reward for effort is not a flawless theory, but I’ll accept a small measure of pride for finding feet eventually.

Thanks for a comment that surpassed frustration to speak positively and constructively. Best of luck with your studies.

That’s an incredibly defeatist attitude. You should take pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved and what you will achieve. If you don’t take pride in it who else will? Soaps and reality tv may be something to talk about now, but later on will it be something worth remembering? Something to mention in passing to friends and family? No.

I shouldn’t be such a hypocrite, I too find it hard to take pride in my studies because I get little family support. However I know that I have worked hard to complete this, and when I graduate I will deserve it. There is little point looking for hope in others and no point in being guided by their pride. Be your own source of pride, there really aren’t many people who can do what you do. Isn’t that worthy of reward?