Much has changed in recent weeks, with positive challenges and valued rewards. New positivity comes with understandable nervousness and a touch of trepidation.
“The only way is onwards…”
Ideally, we want our lives to lead upwards trajectories. When somebody hits particular heights for themselves, they struggle to contemplate living within or below that potential. That’s the intricate psychology of accomplishment.
My life took such a monumental leap four years ago that when things fell apart in 2009, no amount of soul-searching could arrest the slide. This beautiful little portal came to life, with its artistry, cadence, and candour, as sadness drove and inspired my writing.
I’ve told stories through feelings, and feelings through stories. I’ve read poetry through loneliness, and loneliness through poetry. I’ve discovered Marvell through myself, and myself through Marvell.
Too much longing and loneliness is detrimental, though, so there’s been a lot of effort this year to push boundaries. It hasn’t gone all my own way, and my writing has adopted a sense of victimhood at times.
But good fortune would eventually prevail. It has all happened very quickly, and out of nowhere there’s a new job, a new little apartment with lovely views, and a new life in Leicester. Three years on, I’m beginning to reclaim what was lost and appease some of the guilt that has lingered in that time.
Juggling far more work than I can handle has kept me occupied for long, long hours, and I respect myself for that. I’ve avoided the temptation to dwell on what is missing, and so this space has been quieter.
“…there is no turning back”
So what else has happened in the last few weeks? A few highlights:
- Became editor at Which4U.
- A return to Geneva in early October to present at the Doctoral Workshop and catch up with old friends.
- To feature in a volume of proceedings for Republic to Restoration, which will be published by Manchester University Press.
- A weekend workshop for Aegis Quest took place in Leicester, which saw exciting progress.
- Alphaville have announced a new album, ‘Strange Attractor’, and released a promo track, ‘Little Moon for Psychopaths’.
Stars, you are unfortunate, I pity you,
Beautiful as you are, shining in your glory
I lost all memory of you and midnight.